Old Year

Wasn´t preticulary good year for me. At March I was hospilized. While at care I had 50-50 change recording to doctors. Now that was a close call. Jesus!

At October I was hospilized again, psy ward this time. I had a severe manic episode and I was a raging lunatic for a while. This situation is life threatening too. I mean; 20% of Bipolars ends their own life. Would you like to draw straw with these odds? Me either but I have no choice. This is something I have to live with. Or die if it goes in that direction. That said; I´ve always think I´m one of those who survives this.  But can´t be 100% sure.

On the other hand it wasn´t all bad. I gave up alcohol and been sober 9+ mounths now from that shit. And still going strong. I drank alcohol nearly 40 years. At the end I did consume suicidal amounts of it. As per usual for Bipolars. Well that´s so seen, ain´t gonna go back. My body doesn´t cope alcohol any more. I would die shortly if I would start again. So..

While in mania I bought myself new very nice guitar. And learned to comp my first song. I had two guitars previously but buying one more seemed a good idea at the time. My judgement was paralized because I was going towards the freaking mania. Bipolars are notorious to mess up their economy, some even losts their entire fortune. I just happen to have some extra money so that didn´t broke my bank. But maybe there is something better use for that money. Well, it´s gone and it´s not coming back. So might as well learn how to play it.

Tomorrow is time to look fowards to the New Year. `till then; tah dah!